Apples and Oranges

The Apple is a curious fellow. He’s a sweet old fruit who likes to hang in trees, but try to coax him down and he’ll clutch onto the branch with all his might. Come Thanksgiving he loves to befriend the children, treating them each with a kiss and a dollop of fluffy whipped cream. He’s bashful in the open. Take off his thin robe of scarlet or peridot green and he’ll soon flush an embarrassed shade of brown. They say that he met Mr. Newton once upon a time, but that it was a bumpy encounter. Mr. Magritte told him that he had a prettier face than the Son of Man, and apparently Mr. McCartney thought so too. Mr. Jobs even took a byte out of him for his son Mac. But the Apple has a darker side too. He doesn’t like doctors, and every day he tries to keep them away. He punished poor Tantalus by floating just out of reach. He tempted a fair maiden with his sweetness and then told her father about what she’d done to him. A little later dear Apple put another maiden into a deep slumber at the bequest of her evil stepmother. Be wary of the Apple. He looks nice and shiny, but sometimes cruelty worms its way into his heart.

The Orange has a tough exterior, but he’s a softie at heart. When you’re not feeling well, he’ll nurse you back to health. On the outside he provides the zest for life. When he comes knock knocking on your door, he’ll say “Orange you glad it’s me?” But peel back the layers to expose his inner self and he’ll fall into pieces. It happens every time, just like Clockwork. He’s a sucker for Pulp Fiction, and enjoys clubbing at the Tropicana. He’s a protective brother since everyone wants his little sister, Clementine. Sometimes things get Bloody. He’s gets along nicely with Chocolate, but other times he can be a pretty “Annoying Orange”. And in the mornings, after too much Tequila, he sometimes watches the Sunrise.

Who can really tell the better of the two? Both can be sweet and both can be sour. But anyone who gives them a gentle squeeze never fails to raise a glass in appreciation. “Peel me a grape!” what a foolish thought. How do you like them apples and oranges?

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